Over the last couple days I’ve thought of several things to post about but I lose confidence in whether it’s worth it. Part of me wants to write about things that would interest a reader but at the core of myself it feels like this should just be for purging. The problem is I don’t want to get too personal.

I don’t think it would be right to complain about the interpersonal problems in my life on a public forum. Like anyone, I get aggravated with the people in my life sometimes. I do need an outlet to gripe about things but anyone who knows me IRL would be able to figure out who I’m talking about. I’ve made plenty of vague posts on social media in my younger and more impulsive years. I’ve never had good results from those actions.

I guess I am just trying to figure out what direction this blog is going to go. Do I plan posts out? That really isn’t my way. Putting myself in a structure like that doesn’t usually turn out well. I don’t do well with expectations in general. Too constricting. Just more evidence I’ve got alot of rebellion in me.

Should I just write what I feel like? I want things to make sense but it’s difficult. I don’t want this blog to be an obligation. I really hate obligations. It should help me in some way.

Do I really just want to be ‘understood’? Ah geez. I hope I don’t still want validation. I’ve spent too much of my life searching for that elusive feeling. That someone, somewhere ‘gets’ me. That I’m not alone in feeling like a total waste of space.

I’m rolling my eyes at myself. You can’t see.

What do you think? Post what I feel like? Make a plan?